[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 483: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 483: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 483: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 483: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 483: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 483: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 483: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 483: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 483: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 483: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 483: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 483: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 483: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 483: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 483: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 483: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 483: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 483: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 483: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 483: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 483: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 483: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 483: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 483: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 483: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 483: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/functions.php on line 4756: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at [ROOT]/includes/functions.php:3887)
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/functions.php on line 4758: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at [ROOT]/includes/functions.php:3887)
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/functions.php on line 4759: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at [ROOT]/includes/functions.php:3887)
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/functions.php on line 4760: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at [ROOT]/includes/functions.php:3887)
電腦觀點-初學者討論區 • 檢視主題 - 轉載:我的三隻小豬

轉載:我的三隻小豬

除了無聊還是無聊?來個話題吧?

版主: hammer, baga80

轉載:我的三隻小豬

文章snakehsu » 週六 2月 03, 2007 2:11 am

教育部將「三隻小豬」等納入成語,開創文學新猷,令吾輩文學創作空間更加寬廣,茲撰寫一文,回應教育部諸公德政。

今天早上沒有睡美人,我有點希臘,看看牆上的時鐘,時針和分針剛好指著性無能。唉!又是一個失眠的夜!



穿上衣服,到外面走走,鄰居見我氣色不好,問道,



「你是不是杏林子了?」



我搖了搖頭,沒有回答。



鄰居又說,



「我看你還是到白色巨塔去看看吧!」



我忍不住說了,



「你覺得我林黛玉嗎?雖然我不是睡美人,但我的意志可是很藍波、身體可是很成龍的,我只是想一個人日立冷氣一下而已!」



那鄰居聽我這麼回答,也就不再說話,只有默默地看著我離去的朱自清。



走著走著,忽然想到我的工作。今天上班,肯定不能再像往日一樣那麼周杰倫了,老闆平時對我就很有意見,今天一定更野狼一二五了。我工作的份量原本就重,今天精神不好去上班,整個辦公桌上,豈不是更立法院了嗎?



沒辦法,這就是一個人的星星王子吧!誰叫我不是含著連戰出生的呢?



進了辦公室,發現同事們每個人都很可口可樂,問了一下才知道,原來老闆剛剛宣佈,今天上半天班。老闆還說了,



「這一切,麥當勞啦!」



真的很噁心!



但我還是歐斯麥,畢竟這是老闆難得的恩惠,況且他的無間道就安排在我座位的旁邊,我要是敢太李熬,那個無間道肯定會國安局的。



整個上午,就在昏昏沈沈中渡過,那無間道不時轉頭瞄我一下,這就是上班族的楚門的世界吧!雖然她長相很小紅帽,但內心卻很大野狼。我覺得她跟老闆一定有一隻腳,所以我也不敢得罪她。看來老闆一定相信我沒有三隻小豬,今年的考績可能要岳飛了,年終獎金,一定是TVBS蛋了。



我越想越茱麗葉,抓狂起來,不管三+三+三+三+三+三+三等於二十一,下班時間還沒到,就收拾手上的文件,離開辦公室。到了巷口的就是你家,買了一瓶啊福氣啦、一瓶媽哩個B,還有一包北海北海。自從離開故鄉以後,很久沒喝了。我坐在超商門口,吃喝了起來,想到出外人的種種不平遭遇,越喝越生氣,一口氣兩瓶都流浪到淡水,吐出了一口鳥氣,不禁罵道,



「老闆,你是李炳輝了嗎?為什麼你不相信我?我真的有三隻小豬啦!看!更!暗!棍!超營養!老雞排!」



罵完了,覺得五洲製藥,站起身來,慢慢走回家,回家的路上,抬頭看見天上掛著一輪皎潔的明月,心中燃起了一絲賣火柴的女孩。我默默許下心願,



「人間四月天吧!」





*本文正解



今天早上沒有睡飽,我有點憂鬱,看看牆上的時鐘,時針和分針剛好指著六點半。唉!又是一個失眠的夜!



穿上衣服,到外面走走,鄰居見我氣色不好,問道,



「你是不是生病了?」



我搖了搖頭,沒有回答。



鄰居又說,



「我看你還是到醫院去看看吧!」



我忍不住說了,



「你覺得我病懨懨嗎?雖然我沒有睡飽,但我的意志可是很堅強、身體可是很健壯的,我只是想一個人安靜一下而已!」



那鄰居聽我這麼回答,也就不再說話,只有默默地看著我離去的背影。



走著走著,忽然想到我的工作。今天上班,肯定不能再像往日一樣那麼跩了,老闆平時就對我就很有意見,今天一定更機車了。我工作的份量原本就重,今天精神不好去上班,整個辦公桌上,豈不是更亂了嗎?



沒辦法,這就是一個人的命運吧!誰叫我不是含著金湯匙出生的呢?



進了辦公室,發現同事們每個人都很快樂,問了一下才知道,原來老闆剛剛宣佈,今天上半天班。老闆還說了,



「這一切,都是為你啦!」



真的很噁心!



但我還是面帶微笑,畢竟這是老闆難得的恩惠,況且他的臥底就安排在我座位的旁邊,我要是敢太批評,那個臥底肯定會密報的。



整個上午,就在昏昏沈沈中渡過,那臥底不時轉頭瞄我一下,這就是上班族被監視的生活吧!雖然她長相很可愛,但內心卻很邪惡。我覺得她跟老闆,一定有一腿,所以我也不敢得罪她。看來老闆一定相信我沒有用心努力,今年的考績可能要滿江紅了,年終獎金,一定是鴨蛋了。



我越想越悲傷,抓狂起來,不管三七二十一,下班時間還沒到,就收拾手上的文件,離開辦公室。到了巷口的全家,買了一瓶維士比、一瓶保力達B,還有一包鱈魚香絲。自從離開故鄉以後,很久沒喝了。我坐在超商門口,吃喝了起來,想到出外人的種種不平遭遇,越喝越生氣,一口氣兩瓶都呼乾啦,吐出了一口鳥氣,不禁罵道,



「老闆你是瞎了嗎?為什麼你不相信我?我真的有用心努力啦!X!X!X!X!XX娘!老XX!」



罵完了,覺得很爽,站起身來,慢慢走回家去,回家的路上,抬頭看見天上掛著一輪皎潔的明月,心中燃起了一絲希望。我默默許下心願,



「許我一個未來吧!」
頭像
snakehsu
進階初學者
進階初學者
 
文章: 124
註冊時間: 週五 11月 24, 2006 3:19 am
來自: ALOHA

回到 哈拉打屁區

誰在線上

正在瀏覽這個版面的使用者:沒有註冊會員 和 1 位訪客

cron